I have laid low this week. I did reach out only once and I guess I thought it would be a monumental point. I sent Danny the screenshot of his home on Zillow and Trulia. The scared straight moment I would have thought he would come clean with his children. It has not happened. It is not my issue, I know I hate that I am a fixer.
This again has showed me I have to restrain myself. I am not Jesus Christ, I am not the Savior. I am not a carpenter, I cannot fix things or people, I am a Dr just not the head shrinking type. I know it is a hard lesson for me. I have been fixing things and people for a long time. It is how I think I believed I gained love from my parents.
This is another step in my growth and a lesson in my life. I have to sit back and watch it all burn. I hate it. I want to step in and fix it all. I know there is nothing I can do, he is not at his rock bottom. Oddly enough I see him under the rock and he does not even see he can stop the madness.
How do we get so lost? How do we lose focus? How to we allow our ego in one breath to take control and in the other succumb to fear? If people love you, they love you. They may be disappointed in you but they usually do not stop loving you.
I guess I have been forced to sit back and see what this means for me and my growth.
This is not victory at sea, this is not a rip, this is the dead calm that we are forced to sit and wait for the waves to start.
May all your waves be glassy.