Last night, I spent it with Danny at his house. It was the Clemson v Miami game. His oldest son cooked fajitas and I was invited. There were a few of his son’s friends and girlfriend. It was a long night as I left closer to midnight than I would have liked.
When I got home I realized I forgot my phone. I was so irritated but it was late, I was tired and it could wait until Sunday. I texted Danny from my iPad. I love technology. I will say that I had not realized how much I missed my phone but I did.
Danny texted in the morning if I had time to hang out. I said sure. He said he had to go to Michaels for an arrangement and we could get lunch. So this turned out to be no ordinary arrangement. It was for his wife’s grave. I did not know that until we were at Michaels. I helped him pick some plastic flowers and decor.
We then had pizza at Benny’s in downtown Fredericksburg. I have realized he is much more comfortable with conversation and him not being guarded. Today all of that came into clear focus. I was able to share my opinion in regards to his family and he was not defensive. I no longer felt I was intruding. It is not a bad thing, it is just new. He forgot my phone at this house so we had to stop there.
We got to his house and I thought his son was not home and was sad. Then we realized he was home and I gave his son some of my dog’s activity treat toys. I explained them to him, I think they will help with the dog’s chewing and anxiety. We were off again.
Danny picked up cleaning supplies and a scissors. We then went to the cemetery and arranged the flowers in the urn on the headstone. He is still carrying a lot of grief. Today, I gave him a perspective that I think will forever change him. On the way back to my house he said He did not understand her strength and went on about it. Today, I stopped him.
I did not stop him because I could not handle it. I stopped him because he was comparing strength and pain. I was told this quote a week ago: It is not the size of your cross, it is how you handle it. This has changed him. He said he had never thought of it like that and it made a difference. I am glad.
When we got to my house I had a limited time to spend with him. Today when we were intimate it was different. It has been progressively different in a good way since meeting his children. I am Blessed that things are going in a positive manner. Tomorrow I am bringing a Lasagna to Danny’s for dinner. Dinner on a weekday at his house. Things are changing.
May all your waves be glassy.