The funny thing about life is that you are always learning and sometimes the thing that you hate you learn to appreciate.
I met Johnny at a car race, he was the driver. My frenemy Rose introduced us. I thought it was kismet, our last names were so close it had to be perfect, right? Wrong! Well the fact of the matter with him was that I realize it now, I was told flat out it was a mistake but I was headstrong.
I was always making excuses for him. I made it work. I took care of everything. It is not a shock that it was an absolute shit show from the get go. I refuse to make others right. In the end it only cost me a couple of years of my life. He was a great guy but there were issues.
He knew that I was adamant against drugs. He was growing and smoking weed behind my back. He was irresponsible but I thought I could make him change. WRONG. When I realized it was time to leave, I remember I did not want to hate him. He was a good guy overall and I was the pleaser.
I told him flat out I did not want to hate him and the thing really was if that tail pipe in your car was a pussy you would fuck it every day. I cannot compete with a car. He was good with it. It took a lot of years but we are okay where we are today.
I wish I could have told my younger self that it would not make a difference if I had to make my choices change. I can and could be wrong and the world would not end. Choices are not right or wrong they are just choices.
May all your waves be glassy