Friday night Danny and I had dinner at my house. I am not really sure why it has taken me this long to see it but I realized we are really the same person. We are both pleasers and we hold ourselves to such high standards we “should all over ourselves”.
Maybe we came into each others lives to teach us to be more compassionate to ourselves? I know we are both givers and we are there for those we love. However, we come down on ourselves to a level we would never let anyone do to others we love.
After dinner we were discussing weekend plans. In this discussion he shared that his son that lives at home was happy they spent so much time together this summer. Danny said he realized he did not have balance when he dated Hagatha. I said you know you are really going too hard on yourself. He then tried to compare it to when he started dating his wife in high school and having balance with his friends.
I said you do realize you are too hard on yourself. He said it was his to own. Then he said he should have known better. I said I think it was a learning process. He said No I am at fault. I said I do not have kids but Hagatha too should have some ownership. I said this because I am also positive she was manipulative. He said he could blame a lot on her but not this.
It was at this point that I felt I was looking in a mirror. We are the same people. I then told him after he said should about 100 times, “stop shoulding all over yourself”. I want to remind myself that I do it and must stop as well. I see him and this standard he holds himself and it is noble but it is not forgiving.
I realize we are two sides of the same coin. I think this makes me look at things differently. I am going to approach things differently. I know now why I am here and why we are together.
May all your waves be glassy.