I won a trip on the Ellen show to New Orleans. It was a great trip. I went with a friend from my MBA program. It was on the scale of party – off the charts. I was single and what I did should have had zero impact on anything.
I had just moved to the DC area and was staying with Rose. Rose was a friend, or what I thought was a friend for over 20 years. After this trip, I learned I was not her friend and I learned the meaning of frenemy and jealousy all over again. This experience is one that reminds me why I do not want to be friends with women. It reeks of the jealousy and underhanded shit that Tuesday has recently been pulling.
I am not going to give any more details to the NOLA trip other than it lived up to any girls trip to Bourbon Street. There were things that I shared with Rose that should have just stayed in that conversation. However, that was not the case and upon reflection I realized she had been betraying me over and over again and again but I did not put the pieces together until then.
Rose had a friend who I knew could possibly give me a lead to a job in DC. I asked her and she told me he had nothing. I should have trusted her and I did. Later I found out from David that he had been asking her for my resume for months. Shame on her. But there is more. Over the years she would tell me how brave I have been in my life and that she would share it with people in bad places. I guess maybe it was ego, but I was like ok.
Brene Brown talks about this in one of her Ted talks. Be careful who you share your story with because they may not be as respectful as you think. Took me 20 years but I realized she had been using my life for fodder. Shame on her. She is a woman who is afraid to live her own life and she gossips about everyone else and their life.
As I was preparing to move into my own place, she was becoming a bigger and bigger bitch. I gave her space. When I moved she acted like it was a surprise. I was relieved and could not wait to get away. This is still before I realized her betrayals. The guy who got me the job in DC, David and I started to become reacquainted.
He was supposed to be part of the job I took, but he was taken off it. I wanted to catch up with him after I moved into my own place and to say Thank you. I learned at lunch he knew every detail I had shared about the NOLA trip. This was not fodder for gossip. This was my personal life shared with someone I did not share. I was horrified.
I realized then Rose had been sharing my life as well as anyone she knew because she did not know how to live her own life. I was so hurt and betrayed. I immediately severed all ties from her and her family. I disconnected her on FB and emails. She was passive aggressive. I realized this was a lesson.
It is important to see the emotional vampires in your life. She was a vampire and it took a visit to the city of Lestat to realize I had a vampire of the daylight. I had to kill it and move ahead. It is very hard to let a relationship of that time go.
It was not the first relationship I gave up when I realized I was being used by someone. It still hurt but I know it was the right thing to do. It is important to clean the closet of friends and ensure they are worthy of being in our lives.
May all your waves be glassy.