So it has been no secret with the people I know and love how much I have missed the West Coast. So for me this trip back to California is a big deal. It is when I recharge and I think I get my mojo back. My west coast energy may be charging but I there is a disruption in the force.
I feel something is missing. Actually someone, Danny. Believe me I am enjoying my people here, but I know something's different. I know my people are the same. I love and miss them the same. I realized I want them to meet Danny and vice versa. This was always the place I was supposed to return. I never doubted it until now.
I do not doubt it recharges me and that the people and the Pacific are part of it. Today, I am doubting that I could leave him for here. I have so much positivity here, yet I remember the struggle to meet someone aligned with me. It was hard and it never happened. Now I have the alignment and I am working through realistically small things for me. He is working through his own things as well.
That said could I just drop the mic and move back knowing it would be without him? I am not sure. I am really seeing that this is a profound point of thought for me. Seriously, there are a lot of things to consider. The cost of living, where I would live, etc. Then there is the NCR rule.
A self imposed No California Rule on dating. That does limit the pool. I was obviously moved back to the East Coast and I met him. I will tell you it is not lost on me that there were 3 instances of men I was set up with or Matched up with from our town. No big deal right? Wrong!
I was supposed to be here with Danny, right now. Period. So I am taking it dead serious. Our texts have changed over the last few days. The tone and content, so I am very aware. I am also more aware of our connection and at what levels.
I miss him, and I see it is reciprocated. My ❤️ is his and his mine. It is difficult for me to even say, I may never live here again. But my heart and mind say it's okay, you have never loved or been loved like this before.
May all your waves be glassy.