I like to think of myself as a thoughtful person. I put a lot of effort into gifts for the people I love. So when it was the first Christmas married to Alan, I put a lot of thought into the gift. I would always get great jewelry so I guess I thought he put effort in as well.
Alan would always tell me about his life in the past. HELLO GIRL THIS WAS A CLUE. He really was not great at making new memories, but I digress here.
He told me about a Mickey Mantel Hartland Figure he had as a boy. He would talk about this statue all the time. So I thought this is what I will find and get him for Christmas. I was so excited. I found the statue, I got a signed baseball card and had it authenticated. I had it all put in one of those boxes so you could mount it on the wall.
The effort that went into that gift was huge. It was before the internet was so prominent. It took a lot of work. I was so excited to give it to him. This was a change from the cuff links and other things I usually got him.
Christmas morning comes, I am so Freaking excited for him I cannot contain myself. This is how it goes. He opens it and says it is really cool. I am happy. Then he says what do I have to show off to the people at work? WTF Seriously? This is my life? What in God’s name? I said go use a gift card and we can go to the Nordstrom Men’s semi annual sale.
It was the worst gift giving experience I had ever had considering this is something he claimed had meant so much to him but it was gone. Again, he will never be happy, there is never anything that is enough. He is an empty sad man. His lesson is that everyone is not going to be that thoughtful or kind and giving. He is definitely not that so I doubt the Universe will ever bring that to him again. You reap what you sow.
They say Mickey Mantel was a dick in life, well Alan was one too. It is appropriate that I gave him his figure and they can be dicks together in San Pedro.
For the record, I still give great gifts. I now just learn a lot about people from the reactions to what I give them.
May all your waves be glassy.