Senior Year

I started to date Steve, a wrestler who went to St. Laurence High School. He was very handsome and he was funny. He drove a Monte Carlo and was ahead of the Miami Vice trends. He never wore socks and wore the light colored linen suits before they were the norm.   It was kind of weird because he had broken up with one of my friends and we kept in touch over the phone. We dated from January until about July.

I had the best time with Steve. We did things. We went to the zoo, the beach and tried to keep doing things that were fun and new. I learned about punk music genres from him. We went to his Junior Prom and my spring dance. He was a breath of fresh air and he made me feel special. His father was a very kind and gentle man. His mother was always condescending to me. I think she was afraid I was taking him away from her. We went to his uncles wedding together. My friend Aime started to date one of his friends. It was perfect. Then one day he came over and told me that it was over and he could not explain why. I was so devastated my summer was dark from that point until the beacon of light in my life started to shine. He apologized to be about 30 years later, true story.

The best thing that came out of that summer was Jonah. Jonah was the beacon of light in my life. I did not date Jonah then but in many ways Jonah had been my angel. I was working at Mc Dade’s a Service Merchandise type of business. I worked in the jewelry section and I was always on the look out for men. As if, a man buying jewelry is looking for a date, he already has a woman if he is buying women’s jewelry. Well, the irony of this story is that I had a thing for Jonah the moment I saw him. I ended up with his friend Joshua. Jonah was madly in love with this girl named Ceecee, was she ever a piece of work. I have absolutely no room to judge his choice in women after my track record. I dated Joshua and it gave me the chance to get to know Jonah.

Joshua and I were sexually active. It was a rather quick progression. I think for the longest time, I really equated sex with love. I am not sure that I would believe that the relationships my family shared were love. I guess in it’s own sick twisted way it is love. He had the key to his father’s office. His dad was a partner in a company in Palos Hills. So we would sneak off to the office at night and get it on. I do recall having a lot of rug burns. I also know that this was the first time I ever experienced an orgasm. Well let the truth be known I really enjoyed myself.

Joshua’s family seemed like the Cleaver’s at least from the outside. I remember wishing for at least some resemblance to my family. Of course there was no resemblance. In the end his parents divorced when I was in college. I ran into his father at a Sear’s with his girlfriend who was my age. I was totally shocked. He was also dressed very trendy. See it only proves that what goes on behind closed doors really is a different perspective than what we want to see. Joshua’s father had gone to Mount Carmel and was always going on and on about the school. Joshua went to Marist and Jonah went to Mount Carmel. Joshua was not active in any sports. Jonah was a star football player. So Jonah and Joshua’s dad were always in some football conversation with Joshua.

His mother was always so very nice to me I longed for a mother like her. She was very interested in her children’s lives. She knew we were probably having sex and she never made us feel bad about it but she did preach the abstinence and safe sex. She was a very nice woman. Joshua had a sister who was about 4 years younger than us. She was very nice and I thought highly of her. I remember Jonah told me he ran into her a bar years later. He said she was a bit wild and she was doing well for herself. She was the one who told us of Joshua’s fate.

We would double date with Jonah and Ceecee. She was so weird. I never understood the connection between them. She always treated him like crap. He was good looking popular and on the football team. She on the other hand was dating him and that is all I thought she had going for her. She felt left out sometimes because we all went to private school and she went to public school. Frankly I think she was left out because she never had a clue. I look at this now and see another thing that Jonah and I have in common. We always seem to choose people who treat us poorly and make us think we are lucky to have them. She was always talking down to him as if he was the typical dumb jock, which was not the case at all. I think they broke up right before college. I was just happy never to see her again.

Jonah was even kind enough to go to my senior dance with my friend Aimee. She was still very scarred from a break up and tried to use the no date excuse to avoid the dance. I asked Jonah to go as a favor to me. He agreed, actually I had to await Ceecee’s approval. She did agree. He was the center of attention in our group. After the dance we went to Nancy’s Pizza. Jonah was wild he had found out that one of my other friend’s who was in our party was dating someone Jonah had gone to grade school with years earlier. I recall Jonah and Joshua breaking spoons. I kept one of them for about five years before discarding it. It was a very pleasant memory. Everyone in our group will have that memory forever.

In February of my Senior year Joshua started to behave in strangely. He was hyper and he would avoid me. I thought it was another woman. It could only be a woman, right? I forgot to factor in all of the money he had made in a short time. Well I was so wrong it is actually the first reality check for the suburban girl. In the end Jonah and I stopped all contact with J=him. I ended up being dumped by Joshua because of his Cocaine problem. I had no clue he was even using until he told me. It was not until then that everything became crystal clear.

The strange behavior and the extra money were not a clue to us. We were in high school and what did we know? Really, the suburban brats we were had really no contact with drugs. Jonah was a football hero at Mount Carmel High School and I was another princess from Mother Mc Auley. Our parents shelled out a lot of money for us to attend private school. There was no drug use I was aware of at my school. The only use I knew about Jonah’s school was only steroids. It was big back then. I have no clue if it still is today. Steroids scared me so you know Cocaine really freaked me out. However my friendship with Jonah remained for many years until I moved to LA.

I could not believe my world was being overturned once again. At least this time I had a reason. When Steve said good-bye I never had a reason and I was confused and distraught for a long time. Here I knew the blame did not lie with me. I think it was still hard for me to cope. The truth is that being a child in an alcoholic family only made me try harder to make relationships work. To this day I struggle to let things happen and not make it work all the time. Sometimes things just will not work no matter how much you want them to work.

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