I look back and sometimes I really wonder why I accepted some information instead of registering it as I should and running.
So I am dating the trainer and he is all devout to our Catholic Religion yet, when he shared information that really only increased my insecurities, yet I stayed. I don’t recall it all being a data dump of sorts but I do remember the comments.
I was not that unfit, I was working out regularly, I roller-bladed Saturdays and Sundays for at least 6 miles. Yet the story I told myself was I was still fat and not good enough. That said, looking back I see he just fed into it.
When the man you are dating tells you he used to just screw his rich, married clients while their spouses were not home, you really wonder. I also wonder when he would tell me the places he took her as we drove past them in Monterrey. I mean I adored this man and it took a lot for me at that time to not date a man with a degree.
I look at how we broke up which you can read the Harry Potter Post and link this in the whole picture. I see that it only makes sense that we went our separate ways.
I sometimes wish I could go back in time and leave notes to my younger self, but alas, that is not possible.
He told me he was training a psychologist and that he asked her about dating a woman less fit than him. He told me she told him that I was clay and he could mold me into what he wanted. He could help me get to that ideal state. What the hell was wrong with my 30 something self? Why did I accept this? When did this level of I am screwed up and you will fix me become okay?
I have saved the break up post for one all by itself. Stay tuned.