Twinkle Birdies

So as a young girl I watched reruns of the Monkees. I loved Davy Jones, he was the cute one in my opinion. I loved when he would fall for the girls and the stars would appear in his eyes and the birds above his head. I call that the Twinkle Birdies.  It is something that I think we all seek when we find a partner.

I can really only say that this experience for me was limited to a couple of relationships. It was that passion with a magnitude beyond measure. There are times when I look at the relationships I have chosen since then and I wonder if I am still trying to replicate that intensity. In one case it never waned. We just took a break likein Friends, Rachel and Ross, I was Ross. He punished me by not getting back together. It just continued in a friends with benefits relationship even after we were married. Giovanni, ah I still get the emotions thinking of him 20 years later.

I truly believe exploring these things from the past help me to figure me out. I sometimes wonder why I have done things and how I got into situations. I still crave that passion, that desire that magnetism. Maybe it is not something we can recreate. I have done a lot of reflection on that relationship.

I miss some key parts of it. I realize that in that situation he was definitely the male energy and he was controlling all of the plays. I would have like to had more of a voice. Otherwise I want that again, a man who is a man. A man who desires me and respects me but makes me feel like a woman. A man who looks at me and I melt.

Rest in Peace Davy Jones, Twinkle Birdies Forever



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