I am just an archeologist of my own life. It is hard work I think if I was digging for King Tut that would be easier. Why is it that mothers can hate and be jealous of their daughters? I am just thinking that really it would be so much easier for them to do the work and heal themselves than damage more people.
I guess I remember the first time my mother really vocalized that she had an issue with me when I was sick and I wanted my dad to buy me the Styx Paradise Theater Album. I went with my dad to Sound Warehouse but they were out. So he said let’s go to Service Merchandise instead.
I came home with Atari. I have no idea what my parents finances were then. I do know my dad always had the first things when they came out as that was just who he was and he still wants to be but he no longer has the means. I never heard the end of this from my mother.
What ever issues she had with her husband she made them my issues. This is so demented, she would basically say he should not do things for me. I was an only child, sometimes that is really a burden as I have no one to share these experiences.
It is a real thing when mothers have jealousy issues. I realize now my dad was a player and she knew it. She chose to stay and she never passed up the opportunity to tell me this and made me feel it was my fault.
There were times when I wished abortion had been legal so I would have not damaged her life. What the hell is that about? I was made to feel responsible for adult situations and adult decisions. The reality of all that history is it belonged to her but she chose to make it my issue. This woman made her child feel she caused her the life she chose to stay.
My parents almost split up when I was in 3rd grade and my greatest regret is that they did not separate. They wore each other down and burned too much time they will never get back. They are now the most miserable disgusting people I know. And actually I really do not know them as I stopped all relations with them both.