Seattle was a nice place and I really thought I had met my twin flame. I think that it was the start of me really stripping it down and being open in a relationship. It definitely had passion and attraction. But in hindsight I realized something huge about me.
I am always the friend of a guy asking him if he has a JC complex with the women they date. I think they are trying to save the girl. It is a Jesus Christ complex and what I have seen is that it never works. But oddly enough, I see that I suffer from this as well. Saving Mr. Auto was obviously in my cards.
The problem is I saw how damaged he was and somehow I was still in the mode of trying to save him. I know that part of the karma from some other lifetime had to be involved. Because he would tell you to this day that I am the only reason he did not take his life at the darkest point. Sure I saw him and I knew he was damaged. It did not matter as I knew I too was damaged.
I am no longer the Savior girl. I will save myself and my dog but if you are not equipped to save yourself, I have to let you go. My path and journey is to stop with that behavior. I need a man in my life who can take care of himself. I am by no means saying that I will not be a supportive partner for a time. What I am saying is that you have to be just as self sufficient as me to be with me.
I helped him through this time and I thought this was the man, I was wrong. He betrayed me and even then I could not let him go. My angel on an airplane rescued me and that was the last time we really spent time together. He told me he had been screwing other women when we had a clear discussion on monogamy the last time I was in Seattle.
The complex with him did not stop there, I could not detach as a friend from him. It became something with me that we could continue to be friends. The thing is for me I have a love hate relationship with Facebook. I know none of these past men would show up if there was no FB. I also know that it is my job to weed them out and let them go. But I realize my ego gets in the way and it is crazy.
He is now married to some other woman and reached out to me to hook up. Really? I said you chose and that is on you now. He said he made a mistake and you know initially I started to sway but then I had to put the Genie back in the bottle and step away. He is my past and I am not looking or going in that direction. I wish him well and as far as I am concerned our Karmic Bonds have been broken and he is released from any karmic tie to me.