It has been over 17 years since I had a stalker. You know the reality of life is when you get through it you are stronger. The other thing I have noticed is that once I have gotten through some things, I totally forget them. There maybe some new patterns but some things I have wiped from memory until I really need them.
The job I took in Virginia with USPS had so much potential. I already knew the commodity and I was moving from the purchasing side to the engineering side. The issue I realized was that I was a beacon of light that shone the light on the issues of things that were not being done. So that may sound like a great quality and in some instances it might be if you were dealing with stable people. I was not.
So let’s go back to 2000. I worked at a new IPO Telecommunications company after leaving Warner Bros. I was so excited to be there. I worked for a man who was ok I thought. I would eat lunch with him and we would walk around the block and chat. I never was interested in him nor did I ever give any inkling I was interested.
My friendly personality gave him the wrong impression. It went south pretty quickly as he had some temper issues and since he was really more of a team lead, he had no power. I did escalate the behavior to my manager and they moved my cube. I do not remember the specifics of what happened and how I offended him but I will bet that it was I did not want anything to do with him outside work.
I started getting weird voicemails at work, then the calls started at my apartment. I was terrified. Everything made me nervous. I was dealing with the Beverly Hills Police Detectives regularly. The man was let go and it just escalated the behaviors. My parking space was moved into the building for a month. Then I was moved back to the lot, and required a security guard escort to and from work.
One day I went to Santa Monica with my dog to roller blade and I thought I saw him. I lost my balance and ate it. I had road rash everywhere. Strangers went to help me and I went into full panic mode screaming at them to leave me alone. I could not get to the car fast enough.
This little recap shows how impactful it was on my life. I think that gives you a good idea.
So when this started at the office with a contractor who did not do his work it initially did not trigger my panic. Then he started to get aggressive and vocal with me. The issues here are that I did not put the previous experience together with this one.
He had very erratic behavior and I notified management. The thing I have noticed is that people think women have a panic button about everything. Well I do not have that issue, when I raise the alarm, there is a reason. He told me he was off his meds and that he does not like people. He told me in a tone less than warm he was a Marine.
Seriously, looking back at the last 3 months of this drama, I should have gone to HR. But the little girl in me always thinks they will believe I am over reacting or maybe I can handle it myself. Then another contractor told me in confidence if the other guy got let go to really watch myself. I was no longer the only one thinking their is a risk.
What I did next was write a well crafted email outlining all of the drama and requested a threat assessment. Although weird stuff happened in the last week, such as being cornered in a locked room with the aggressive man, no one said anything to me even when I notified them. So, I endured another week of odd uncomfortable behavior. No communication with me the one who is scared.
They terminated him while I was at home teleworking. The whole team was notified then me. Then I received an email just stating they told his employer on Tues he was no longer needed. They chose not to tell Inspection Services that there was an issue greater than a termination. I took control and did just that.
I have learned when fear creeps up for safety you listen and you take action. I know they do not care about anyone else so in this case I have to take care of me. It was hard and I did it but I know it is what is best for me.