This weekend the phrase took on more than one meaning. The first is that I realized a lot of things how I internalized things that really had ZERO to do with me. These things impacted me in ways deeper than I ever imagined. I think that this is the case for a lot of people and we do not even realize it.
The second is I use my story to protect myself. I have done it in relationships and at times when I feel vulnerable. It is really a mechanism to protect myself. This time I realized I was a girl, and the story I was painting involved a boy. Tony Robbins is clear when he explains how things like this work. A guy driving in the car with his girlfriend when she asks if he has to pee. He says no. The problem is that was a clue, women never really tell you directly what they want. Tony tells the audience member he should say no honey but let’s stop as she probably has to go. Then he asks a woman what the following scenario means- You ask a guy you like out for lunch on Thursday and he says no, what does it mean? She says He does not want to go and a couple of other things. He says NO he just said no on Thursday, she said Ok I will ask about Friday. Brilliant example.
This weekend when I did not hear back after I texted, I had a story no one would believe in a million years. I still kept going with it. I laid low and kept busy. I still reached out with something I wanted to send and then hit the panic inside. So I waited it out.
Then the next morning I realized I told myself a crazy story that was not even true. What is wrong with me? Ok I was just being a girl but it is really torture and I am working to stop the story and go with the truth. I trust him in what he says so I need to go with that and not judge or make stuff up from previous experiences.
I just need to stay out of my head!