I have said before decisions are just decisions. While that is true there are times when you make the right decision and the other people involved make a wrong decision. I was in my 20’s and madly in love with the man who got me pregnant. Maybe I was madly in love because I was still clinging to the fantasy that the man my mother told me to choose was the right one, she loved me and wanted what was best right?
Either way, he said he would go to the clinic with me. He was a no show. I guess that is not a shock since his behavior should have been a predictor of the future. A few weeks later he ran into me and a girlfriend at a club. I was still just a hot mess.
At the time there was a Dorito’s commercial that Jay Leno would say at the end It’s Okay eat them all we will make more.
He ignored me at the club I left in tears. I was not able to face him and his denial of the pregnancy and really the denial of me. He came to my apartment after my girlfriends gave him a piece of their minds. So now he really believed me. The man I left my family for who left me to go to a clinic alone.
He showed up and he apologized by telling me we could make more. WTF? I was gutted on the floor like a fish. This is the man who told me I was a marshmallow. How is this love? I could not believe what was happening and I was hormonal.
I cannot tell you what happened that night (as I do not remember) after this but I wanted this post to point out one thing. People do not remember what you say, they remember how you made them feel. This one was a combo only because I think it was such a poignant moment in my life.
This was the lynch pin in my life where I think I really started choosing me. I hate Doritos to this day and refuse to eat them. I am sure it is psychological but I just can’t.
I hope that when you deal with people you are aware of where they are and that you are compassionate. I have lived everyday since remembering that what you say to people has an impact and that actions really speak volumes.