I think sometimes we can look back on something that at the time horrified me. I remember one time back in the day when my BF with Benefits horrified me and yet he laughed at me. So indulge me here, I have no idea why I thought about this which happened in my 20’s but I was cracking up this week.
I was staying over and we had a long history of friendship by that time. This included, being friends in HS, College, seeing each other through a screwed up first marriage and divorce and other dysfunctional relationships that came and went.
So back to my funny story. It was the middle of the night I got up went to the bathroom and came back to bed. It was a super cold winter night. We snuggled up together and then it got hotter. So he goes down on me and I am into it when he pops his head up. He then tells me about toilet paper in his mouth. Now, let me be clear it was not a sheet or a roll it was a tiny piece. I was so self-conscious that I could not enjoy the “generosity”. I was totally freaked out.
The reason I bring this up is because 20 years later I would laugh if this would happen. Additionally, I would be happy to have that body, yet I was totally self-conscious about something totally irrelevant and he was laughing about it in the morning but I could not recover.