I think we all fear not being accepted for who we are with another person, especially in a love relationship. The thing that gets me is pretending to be something you are not. I was crystal clear with my first husband when I told him I don’t do drugs never have, never will and they are not part of my home.
So when I found them hidden in the garage, a lot of the blanks filled in. I was destroyed. I could not believe he would lie to me. I think that being open honest and clear was a 2 way street. I guess the naive girl who found a pot plant in the back and he told me it probably grew from bud from the college kids in the house next door said it all.
He is still a slave to the weed and now he is 56 years old. He could not get a Teamsters job and I see we all have issues. I am compassionate towards him but I shake my head about it to this day.