Young lust sometimes leads to obsession

I came home from Steamboat to hang out with Martin and his friends. Martin worked at Aberdeen’s florist. He would work the bridal shows for them while I worked them for Sound Module. He was from the north side of Chicago, and I was mesmerized by the north side. He was also in a band called Subject to Change. He was older and it killed some time. It was short-lived. Holy cow! Okay let’s just call a spade a spade. I was fucking him. We would go out have a good time and fuck. I am not going to romanticize the truth. I later pursued Giovanni the drummer in the band. I had checked out Giovanni while dating Martin. Martin and I were short lived. It was okay with me because the sex left a lot to be desired. There was no chemistry. After the Martin affair ended I went on Spring Break to South Padre Island. I had even set Giovanni up with Doreen because I did not want it to work. I wanted Giovanni. I made that happen upon my return I went to serious measures to find Giovanni. I knew he worked as a mechanic in a FIAT authorized shop. I went to FIAT and found him. I had actually been to the shop once with Martin so I knew the area to search. There was a huge distance between my home and the area Giovanni Martin and the crew lived. The Giovanni and Joyce union was off and running soon after. I was 5’2” and about 128 pounds. I had huge breasts and was never afraid to exhibit them. I fell madly in love with him. It was the late 80’s I had the hair to go with the time: big. I worshipped him. I baked cream puffs for him. I dressed to please him. He was nice looking and very European. He had these huge round glasses and a gap between his two front teeth. We always patronized the hottest clubs and restaurants. I was living the life. He would buy me jewelry and clothes he thought I should wear. The gifts killed my mother. She was so jealous it was disgusting. He would tell me which dress to wear with which shoes. I was a personal Barbie named Joyce. He was in a band and that was too cool. I was the first of my friends to go to the DMV and pretend to be someone else to get a valid id. Once I had a fake id we went everywhere. I never missed a beat. One time Lynn and I went out with Giovanni and his cousin. It was a trip. I thought that Lynn and Frankie would make a cute couple. It did not work out but Lynn and I still laugh at the fun we had that night. We went dancing downtown and it was the typical Italian macho thing that both Giovanni and Frankie acted that we remember most. The sex was always awesome. One time his cousin’s family went to Italy and he had the keys to the house. We went to the house and brought a candle. It was a scorching humid Chicago summer. It was very romantic and sexy. It was so hot we became so wet that it was as if we had just showered. The sweat was very arousing. Another time a friend of mine was out of town. She lived in a high rise in downtown Chicago the view of the city lights was incredible. That night of passion was also unforgettable. I also did some really fucked up shit. Blow jobs down the interstate in a snowstorm. There were a lot of crazy places that we had sex, in my parents driveway, on the side of the house near their bedroom window. We never could get enough. I think it was the rush of possibly getting caught. As soon as we were alone the clothes were off and we off and running. It was shear addiction. He really made me feel special at a time when I was not feeling very good about myself. Had I known the way things would progress I probably would have bailed much earlier. Over the year and a half of being together I knew I would never marry him. There was always an underlying feeling of being on the edge. There was the answer I never wanted to face. You think that with insight like that I could move on. Wrong answer. My parents were starting their divorce proceedings and I was particularly needy. The divorce tore my family apart. I can tell you that I do not speak to either of my parents to this day and it is for the best. I guess Giovanni knew I was not the person for him either. He told me he needed a break. I was devastated. My life was crumbling before my very eyes. I went out with Jonas and Junior one night to drown my sorrows and I found a body builder to make me feel better. It was short lived but it did the trick. It is just like with Ross and Rachel on Friends and I agree with Ross. He had every right to sleep with that girl. They were on a break. I went to see the guy at Western Illinois University for a weekend. This guy was the biggest steroid freak ever. He was in a frat and he wanted to be with me. Okay we all know I slept with him. Giovanni accused me and I denied it. I said we were on break I do not want to know what you did and it should not matter what I did. It undid Giovanni. He did call the break. I know I was just so very needy. I was not feeling bad. I had always suspected he had cheated on me. He came down with genital warts and told me he got them from a toilet. Okay, I was dumb and I wanted to believe in him. I could not believe in my family so I hung on to the fantasy. He got them from a toilet and the stork delivers babies. Needless to say I started dating many other gentlemen. Giovanni and I by no means were through. We saw each other at my graduation party from College. He asked me why we were not together. He said I betrayed him. I told him he wanted a break. I gave it to him. He told me that it only was supposed to be temporary. I had ruined it. He wanted me to come back and I told him I did not think I could. He was very angry with me. He threw the bottle of Pepsi he was drinking at my feet and it startled me. I knew there was the angry side to him. I just had never seen it before. This by no means was the end of our relationship. He will appear in my life very soon and not leave for a long while.

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