So after one too many bad dates on my own I allowed my friend and hairdresser of 14 years fix me up. She had been after me for a while to meet Stan. I said I would meet him. So she passed my phone number to him. She said he is a really great guy, surfs like me, loves his dog and will be really fun. He has grown sons so no issues there. He is a widower and it had been over a year.
I found out later she asked him about the decor in the house and coached him about discussions. All a waste that did not work.
We spoke on the phone and he seemed cool. So we planned a date for Thursday night. I would come to his place and we would go to dinner and a movie. He said to bring my dog so we could have the dogs play. I was like that is cool.
I drive an hour and a half in rush hour traffic. I get there and it is the house I would refer to as the creepy house on the block. No landscaping everything over grown. The house that when you were a kid was the old lady creepy house. I am not getting a good vibe, everything is overgrown and garden lights knocked over.
I get to the door and he greets me and Mackey with his dog. As I walk in I see table settings on the counter and he tells me he made dinner. WTF really? I brought a bottle of wine and he tells me he does not like wine. I said OK then we do not have to open it. He said he would try it. We open the bottle.
The dogs were getting to know each other. I had brought each of them a nylabone. That worked for a short moment until his dog attacked my dog. Yes blood was drawn. I freak out yell and she runs away and I picked Mackey up. Stan locked his dog up. I was trying to figure out where Mackey was bleeding. He was bleeding on the floor. I get Mackey calmed and the bleeding stopped. I then I wiped up the floor. Stan gets on his knee and grabs my leg and wipes off some dog blood. I was creeped out.
I asked about the photos on the wall. I said “Are those your boys surfing?” He then says “That is my wife, let me give you the tour” He then went thru all the pictures which included his wedding pictures and other family trips. It was super creepy. He points out a picture of his son that his deceased wife had taken. I said he looks full of energy. He replied “That is why he has a medical marijuana license to sleep”
He set up the computer to play music. Bad country music that was never good. Depressing sad songs are setting a mood and I will say it is not a good first date vibe.
As I sat at the counter I waited for dinner he swoops in and sticks his tongue down my throat. Since my friend set us up I was just stunned. I replied “what an appetizer”. The dinner sucked, a cheap steak and romaine lettuce with a bottle of Cesar dressing and cheap Kraft Parmesan poured over it. The dinner conversation was about how hot my friend Lisa’s body and face were in his mind. It was gross.
His dog started crying and scratching at the door. He let her out I continued to hold Mackey on my lap. I asked if his dog had been to obedience school. He said no. He said the dog was his wife’s idea.
As I sat there with Mackey on my lap and his dog on the floor, a cartoon from childhood came to mind. The one where two guys are on a desert island and the one starts to look like a chicken and the other starts to look like a pork chop. This is the exact look he was giving me and his dog was giving Mackey. I am sure this man is a psycho killer and will be on America’s most wanted sometime in the future.
I asked about what he did all day. He told me some days he does not even get out of bed. I asked if he walked the dog he said not usually but we could walk both our dogs tomorrow morning. I said I have to leave now, Mackey has a vet appointment in the morning.
I could not get out of there fast enough. I know what Bat out of hell means and looks like.